Registry Etiquette
Getting married is exciting, and your loved ones want to
help you celebrate by brining gifts to your bridal shower and wedding ceremony.
Registering for gifts can be very fun. Finally a chance to get that mixer or
drill you’ve been wanting. But how to you tactfully make a list and let your
guests know? Below are some tips to help you and your fiancé.
MAKING THE REGISTRY:
As much fun as it may be to add a giant screen TV and $200
mixer to your registry keep in mind your guests will have a wide variety in
budget. They may all love you, but your old college roommate may be tight on
cash and can’t spend more than $25 on your wedding.
Mix it up, you should have a mix of budget items around $20-$25
on your registry, some $50-80 items and only a few items over $100 for those
close parents and loved ones that want to splurge on you.
Register at minimum 2 places. Not everyone can make it to
Macy’s or Crate and Barrel. Diversify your choices to make it easier for guests
to purchase your gifts. Make sure gifts can be purchased online too. Many of
your guests work 9-5 jobs while juggling children, purchasing a pre-wrapped
gift from Target.com makes their life easier.
Check your lists after your bridal shower and as the wedding
approaches. If all your lower end items
have been purchased leaving only $75 and up, go back and add in some budget
items for those last minute shoppers.
WHAT HAPPENS IF WE
ONLY NEED CASH?
Maybe you’ve been living together for a while, you’ve set up
a wonderful home and you don’t really need anything new. But the roof really
needs replacing? Or you want everyone to pitch in for a wonderful honeymoon.
Asking for cash directly can appear rude to some of your
guests. But there are some tactful ways to go about it.
The www.honeyfund.com
website allows your guests to easily contribute to your Honeymoon fund. It’s
fun for your guests and they feel like they’re contributing to something big
for you two.
If you want just cash for home improvement or to pay off the
car it gets a little tricky. Yes you need the cash, but people want to
celebrate by getting you something fun. Car payments and roof repairs are not (but
necessary in life- more than a new set of knives sometime). Don’t just ask “Instead
of gifts we really need the cash to pay off the auto insurance this month” but
set up an online account and on a small card state “We’re honored for your presence
at your w
edding and that’s all we ask. If you wish to contribute to our future
wishing well we’ve set up an account at: _________________” .
WAYS TO ASK FOR CASH:
“MAKE A WISH: Your presence at our wedding is present
enough. But if you want to help add to our future we’ve set up a wishing well
fund at www.__________.com please write us a wish
along with your gift. ”
“We’re honored for your presence at your wedding and that’s
all we ask. If you wish to contribute to our future Wishing Well we’ve set up
an account at: _________________” .
“You’re love and support at our wedding is all we ask. We’re
honored to have you in our lives. If you
wish to contribute to our future we’ve set up a Wishing Well at www.______.com
.”
“Our life together has already begun, we have almost everything
under the sun. We’re honored for your presence
at your wedding day, but if you want to send a wish our way. We’ve set up a wishing
well together at www.________.com . We’re excited to start our life-long adventure.”
Remember asking for cash contributions will seem rude to
some guests, no matter how polite you are about wording it. But you can’t
please everyone. You know your guests better than anyone. Maybe for those that
would be offended leave out mentioning the cash.
LETTING YOUR GUESTS
KNOW:
You’ve made your registry, Great! Now to let everyone know.
If you’re having a bridal shower it’s appropriate to include the registry info
on the Bridal Shower invitation. Or you can add in a separate insert card with
the shower invitations. Gifts at a bridal shower are expected so don’t be shy
here.
If you’ve made a wedding website you’ll need to have a page
dedicated to your registry information. Here is also a great place to add info if you
want everyone to pitch in for a honeymoon or future wishing well fund.
DO NOT put the registry info along with the wedding
invitation. Even in 2016 it’s considered inappropriate by most people to
suggest anything about gifts on the wedding invitation. It is definitely encourages
to add on your wedding website at the bottom of your invitation, and guests can
find their own way to your registry page there. Simply add on your website at the very bottom “For
more information please visit: www.ourwedding2016.com”
If you’re wedding invitation package includes a map,
information card, hotel info and 5 other insert cards you can sneak in the
registry on one of the info cards, but DO NOT put it on the invitation itself.
If you wedding
envelope ONLY includes the invitation and RSVP skip the registry information.
REMEMBER: Even though you’ve got a website with your
registry information, your mother telling everyone where you’re registered and it
went out with the bridal shower invitations. People are still going to ask
where you’ve registered.
How to word your
registry:
For the bridal shower
invitations keep it simple.
“BRIDES NAME is registered at Macy’s Home an Amazon.com”
For the insert card
or website, keep it simple too:
“Your presence and support is all ask. However for those
seeking gift suggestions, we have registered at Macy’s Home an Amazon.com . Your
gift will help make our new house a home!”
“A registry has been set up at Macy’s Home an Amazon.com”
“BRIDE NAME and GROOM NAME have set up registries at Macy’s
Home an Amazon.com”
“The Happy Couple is registered at Macy’s Home an Amazon.com”
GETTING THE GIFTS:
At your bridal shower and post-wedding gift opening have a
friend or relative write down the gifts and the name of gift-giver to help you remember
later who gave you what so you can write your thank you notes. Stay on top of your thank you notes, send
them out no longer than 60 days after your wedding. Write them right away when
you get back from your wedding or honeymoon.
SURPRISE GIFTS:
No matter how clear you were about the registry or the real need
for cash some guests will give you a gift they wanted to give you. And no
amount of reasoning can stop them. Your loved ones want to celebrate your
marriage, and sometimes they feel a painting of monkeys or a sterling silver
wine bucket (even though you both don’t drink) is exactly what you two need.
Take the gifts smiling, a wedding isn’t about getting money
or all your dream housewares. It’s about spending the rest of your lives
together and celebrating with the people you love.
RETURNING GIFTS:
If you’ve gotten two of the same items simply return one to the
store and purchase one of the items you didn’t get off your registry. Don’t mention it to your guests, simple thank
both of them for the item they originally gave you.
If you’re given a gift you didn’t want- say that awful
monkey oil painting from Uncle Fred. Keep
it, while the painting may be hideous, it was given to you with love. If you
try to return it to Uncle Fred he’ll be hurt. Simply tuck it away in the back
closet and pull it out when he visits. The joys of family.
It happens rarely, but if your marriage turned out not to be
what you thought and it dissolves in under 6 months, you should return the
gifts to your guests.
Buy wedding invitations now: https://www.etsy.com/shop/CottontailPress
